this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My retirement plan depends on the collapse of society.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Look on the bright side, high stress poverty life style has a good chance of killing you in your 50s of an early heart attack!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Already on 2 different meds for blood pressure and just turned 30 aw ywaaaaaaa 😎😎😎

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Beware, that was me 6 years ago. Now I'm on meds for blood pressure, antidepressants, anti-anxiety, I need regular physiotherapy (keep good posture kids) and I just had to have 6 blood tests because I've had a stomach-ache for 2 weeks and noone knows why... I genuinely don't remember what point I was going to make, so I guess this is just a rant now. But try not to follow in my footsteps.

Edit: Word

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Just because I spend years trying to figure out what the stabbing pain in my bladder was, you might want to consider referred pain from the spine. Or referred pain at all, because at 40, it's happening a fair amount.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Only one for me, but holy hell is it scary when I miss a pill, feel like Willy Wonka is turning me into a blueberry.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Which is still a while after the revolution. Checks out.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Right? Look at Moneybags over here with their 11-minute Shangri-la! Oooooo.

cries in poverty

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Mr. 11-fucking-minutes of joy and solitude, rubbing it in our faces. He’s just like Jeff Bezos.

Asshole.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

I ran the numbers, have you considered dying young?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

Don't worry, you don't have to live until 97 if you retire earlier 🫂

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

12 gauge retirement plan for me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Rest easy, in the US, because of the QOL disparities, current tables aren't publicizing how much less time poor people get once they "retire", which now includes working for the most part and collecting social security disadvantageously early. It's 4-6 years less life for the poor's collecting SS at lower rates--so you won't need a full 11 minutes of funds, probably 8 or 9.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Eleven whole minutes‽ Ooh, check out Monies Georg over here!

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If you want to retire, just go live in a forest at that point.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Living in a forest takes a lot of hard work if you intend to stay alive. Not what most retirees are looking for.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago

That's the point I'm trying to make. It's still a better retirement plan.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There's the problem. He did financial planning. Buy property, tools, plant fruit trees and learn to garden and forage.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Lemme just plant a doctor tree for all the healthcare I'll need later in life.