this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
419 points (97.9% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

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top 46 comments
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[–] [email protected] 212 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I just… I can’t believe… it’s not butter.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Orderly horrible that you milked that old joke

[–] [email protected] 122 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

More like, 'Betrayal of the highest udder.' ...I'll see myself out... of the barn.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 3 weeks ago

No, you milk that joke for all it’s worth.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Not all jokes are what they cream to be. That said, this one really whipped the competition.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Next you’re gonna tell me metal statues aren’t solid, and don’t weigh tens of thousands of pounds.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

What else have we been lied to about??

[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Strippers don't rotate around the pole. The pole itself is rotating.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Somehow that was a bigger emotional blow than finding out pro wrestling is fake

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

(Shhhhh!) Nothing! Ha ha - nothing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think I learned from that weird pole dancing archer guy who makes Youtube shorts that the pole can be locked and unlocked depending on the specific act?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

For the curious "blumineck" is the name of his channel

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Answering questions no one asks like can you wield a pole arm in 6 inch platform heels?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Interesting contradiction. The cake is a lie, but it's cake and always has been.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Everything is cake, and the cake is a lie. Everything is a lie, we are living in the matrix.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Who gets to lick the spoon

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Santa Clause can't be fat one moment and ultra skinny the other, to fit down a chimney.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I'm pretty sure Santa is kinda like a cat. All the fat just kinda squishes, if he can fit his head in the rest can make it too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

So he's some kinda slime or shape-shifter, huh?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I want to believe

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Did they think the butter took on magical powers when it was formed into the shape of a cow in order for those thin butter legs to hold up the weight of an entire butter cow?

[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 weeks ago

I mean, isn't tha what makes it so impressive?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago

I just assumed it was frozen

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Real Americans deep fry butter cows.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Don't forget to inject the cheese before you flash fry it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

wait till they find out about chocolate bunnies

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Anything endorsed by Ted Cruz is a little shifty at best.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Are they still losing it after a year?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Wisconsin I believe (or don't believe as the case may be).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Give it to ‘em straight - like a Pear cider made from 100% pears.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

See image above

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I am assuming a giant sculpture of a cow that is made out of butter. Probably for a county fair.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Iowa State Fair, yes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Cow, except butter