this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 120 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Based on that photo I expected the woman lessons to be "fight, bleed, groan" too.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 month ago

They already know how to do those things, right boys!?

I'm sorry

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I was ready for the second half. I was disappoint.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I fight bleed and groan monthly 🤷‍♀️

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

that's why you don't need to be taught those things. you need lessons on long hair and pink

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Women, smh. Do we have to explain everything‽

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I fight, bleed and groan every time I go to the toilet.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 month ago

That phone # is for a Denny's in LA too.

"Hi, can you teach my daughter to long hair?"

"Sir, this is a Denny's."

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Why do men need to learn to groan? Are they giving birth?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Never have I heard someone quite as well capture the appropriate sound to make when you've achieved "yeah sex is great but have ya..." for gushing over all the specs that make something you're showing off so awesome.

It works for cars, it works for stereo systems, it works for a new smoothie blender, it even works for the wildly unhealthy recipe you invented that's dripping the most decadent yet delicious shit you could cram into it before serving it to your friends like you make Gordon Ramsey look like a Killer Cook.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe, but have you ever heard anyone else do it? Would YOU do it? If you heard a friend excitedly Tim Allen grunt, would you ever really look at them the same?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Yes yes and yes.

It's a fuckin' good grunt!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Sounds like something someone who doesn’t know how to PINK would ask…

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I'm a man, and I'd like to learn how to pink.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

I blue myself!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Blue used to be for girls as it was seen as more “dainty,” while pink used to be associated with boys as it was seen as the stronger color. It didn't change until the 1950s when some big advertising campaigns pushed pink as a feminine color exclusively for girls.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Red was the manly color, it was seen as regal. So light red (pink) was the color of the boys. Blue was the color of the virgin Mary and light blue used for femal children.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah pink was man's colour because it is the colour of just cooked steak.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

You are in luck. Pink was a verb before it was a color.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

It's super easy, you just use pinking shears!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Take off your skin.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (3 children)

feels like something the boys from Always Sunny posted

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

"It's a bicep!"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

He teaches to groan. NOTHING SEXUAL.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Needs more veins

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Man I should offer lessons on adulting. Lesson 1, nobody is doing it well, everyone is faking. Lesson 2, we're all jealous that you're still a child, milk that shit. Lesson 3, stop listening to old man complain, go have fun.

I think that's worth a hundred dollars right?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think that's called a "life coach".

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Jokes on us, they are just scamming MAGAs for 1000s a session

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This seems like a trap of some sort and people in general shouldn't be left alone with either of them individually or at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Yeah, If I had kids, I would keep them as far away as possible from these people.

I'm no doctor, but that man is absolutely experiencing some kind of steroid-induced mania.

Otherwise, if it's not real, it's an excellent shitpost.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Someone reported that the number is for an L.A.'s Denny's. As if the "pink" wasn't a flag that it was a joke.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Can that dude BE on any more steroids?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

I for one support him on his gender affirming medical procedures.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Yes, yes, there's always room for max growth. If he really juices it up and eats a couple cows per day, he can get to that next level. Beefcaaaaaake!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Not without his heart exploding

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

As long as they don't offer to teach poster design...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Whats funny to me is people who want for their kids something they see inadequate in themselves. Like obviously as a man you can't teach your kids to be a man then you must not know how.......

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I kinda feel like that's the entirety of good parenting. Some things have higher or lower priorities, but ideally, I want my children to be more competent than me in everything I know how to do and more.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Sounds like you could use some lessons

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lmao they don’t know how to pink…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I'd like to know what happens if someone signs onto both lessons.

I have a feeling they wouldn't appreciate it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Offer expires... now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Is this Jhony Lawrence pamphlet?

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