Asklemmy

I’d go rob the people that made my entire 20’s and 30’s into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I could’ve used to get out of that contract.

The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49

I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).

So i'd do that

I'd go to the art museum and consume copious amounts of hallucinogens.

~~Illegal~~ Legal immigration.

The law does not currently prevent me from doing anything I want to do.

Crime means breaking the law, correct?

No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.

I would:

• expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
• transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
• alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that's selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
• one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
• remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
• create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
• hold hands with two chicks at the same time

It's fun to dream of the impossible.

I keep my head down. No legal consequences isn’t the same thing as no consequences.

if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.

I'm a renter, so I'd throw a brick through each window of my property manager's tesla.

Jaywalk then torrent a movie.

Rob Fort Knox.

Rip the toupee off trumps head and get a good picture.

Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7

Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.

I'd like to do some proper money laundering but I'd need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn't an issue, I'd hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.

Rob a bank.

Nuke the world.

That's not murder; it's a war crime.

> Tries to rob a bank

> gets shot

Transmitting radio without a license

Go shoplift anything I want. Snack/trinket party!

I’d torture the shit it out of the parasite sack of shit that is my landlord

Arson.

Help myself to around €200,000 worth of now-free iPhones from the warehouse

Nice try mr. Copper! 😝

It the best day of the year to get rich from the imaginary economy of assets. Set a bot to match the trades of some people who will be insider trading and cash in every year.

I would rob some things I want. Not the money, only the the stuff hahahahaha

I would steal a single nuclear icbm and take it to a pizza hut and just leave it there. Just seems like it would cause some interesting conversations.

This is 100% fed posting. I'm not telling you what I got up my sleeve!

I'd go to Iowa and lie about butter.