this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 91 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Very confusing to put the same generation on different heights... Family trees should not be made into vertical smartphone-format...

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Too generous of your to call this a family "tree"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Egyptian monarchs also enjoy a nice family tumbleweed

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

There is vertical format for family trees, but only following one line with no additional branches

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"Sea foam"

The Greek word aphros means “foam,” and Hesiod relates in his Theogony that Aphrodite was born from the white foam produced by the severed genitals of Uranus (Heaven), after his son Cronus threw them into the sea.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Strange way to say "Enki and Tiamat"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

So godly semegma it is. Or maybe devine cock-blood?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

'burst fully armed from forehead' whoever came up with this was definitely tripping

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

"Holy shit I have such a bad hangover. I feel like my head is giving birth." "...huh. Lemme write that down."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

That's how the Elder Scrolls lore was created, too.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did Semele just... Show up one day?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Semele was just a priestess who got diddled by Zeus, as you do, and got pregnant with Dionysus.

However, after shenanigans by Hera, she got tricked into asking Zeus to show himself to her in his full godly might, and because he was oathbound due to earlier power-of-boner stuff, he had to unwillingly comply.

He tried his best to show the tiniest sliver of his true being that would count, but she was still mortal, and got burned in godly flame for just witnessing him.

Zeus, saved the foetal Dionysus by strapping him to his thigh until the thigh-pregnancy was complete, and later, Dionysus found his mom in the underworld, and made her into the God of Drunk Frenzy.

Following all that, Semele appears to be uppity about her incredible husband to her sister, because Semeles husband carried their fetus to term after Semele died, while her sister's husband was a mere wife-and-son-murder-attempter.

I love out of context ancient greek mythology. Btw, all that, makes Dionysus the only god in this graph, apart from Gaia herself, to not be the product of direct incest. (Is brain-parthenogenesis incest? Who knows)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fucking thigh pregnacies am I right...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I once came across an explanation that the thigh is a metaphor for the balls (I probably heard that on the Overly Sarcastic Productions channel). I can only find this with a quick search :

Enorches ("with balls"), with reference to his fertility, or "in the testicles" in reference to Zeus' sewing the baby Dionysus "into his thigh", understood to mean his testicles). 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dionysus under epithets

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Baby Dionysus also known as "With Balls" ಥ‿ಥ

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Well, he sure as fuck has balls.

Literally, metaphorically, as well as probably 3 times a day

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Dionysus is stored in the balls

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Man, ouzo is wild.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Is this whole thing just an attempt to change the spelling of Uranus to something less funny?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's not Uranus, that's Ouranus

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

We are all your bush on this blessed day!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Ouranos is the Greek spelling. As far as the Greek god is concerned, that is the better name.

Uranus is the Latin spelling. Just like the other planets planets are named Mercury not Hermes, Mars not Ares, Jupiter not Zeus, astronomers looked to Latin not Greek for naming.

However the person that named Uranus fucked up because while Uranus is the Latin spelling of Ouranos, the Romans called the God Caelus. Rather than use the Roman name (again, like Neptune instead of Poseidon), the person who named it just used the transliteration not the actual nomenclature.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Caelus, now the word celeste ("from the sky" or "heavenly" in some languages) makes more sense

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Yes of the pre-Olympian deities, a lot of them are quite literal and almost animist, in the sense that it is clear that the god is simultaneously a being but also a physical reality of the world. The sky, the earth, the ocean, night, day, darkness, light. And their children are concepts associated with their parents - to early civilised humans, the night creates strife, doom, death.

Only in later "generations" does a truly distinct personhood emerge - eg Zeus is not lightning himself, but he can control it. It's hard not to wonder if the generations of gods seen differently represent actual waves of religious reform or absorption where family trees were made to fit the story rather than vice versa.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Ouranos seems to be closer to the Ancient Greek spelling from what I can tell

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Persephone erasure

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Zeus had sex with someone then eats them while they're pregnant. He has a headache and they hit him with a hammer. Out pops Athena. I don't know about y'all but I wouldn't call that mysterious.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Remember how Dionysus was born.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

How many of these were killed by Kratos?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

~~Lord Uncle Zeus getting it on with ALL his nieces~~

No wait, I miscalculated, those are cousins

Edit: except Maia, that's a niece... I think. This layout is confusing

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

In the novel "Claudius The God" Caligula says that Claudius is his grand uncle, which is the same relationship that the dog Cerberus had to the god Apollo.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

squints

Kind of cool. But hard to tell the legend apart

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Wow I did not know it was this incestuous

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

So all celestial beings came from our an*s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Sex with Pleione