Asklemmy

I think Weird Al Yankovic would be the perfect opponent. The absurdity of a political debate where Trump spouts absolute nonsense in a perfectly serious manor while Al lays serious facts in the most nonsensical form would be the show of the century and weird Al has better qualifications for the job by trumps standards having maintained cultural relevancy and financial stability for 4 decades. Plus he's jest super likeable.

Sacha Baron Cohen.

The appeal of Trump's rhetoric and populist message is entirely subconscious, and doesn't stand up to even a few moments of critical analysis. Baron Cohen has a genius-level understanding of how to get into people's heads, and what's more, he can do it fluently, on-the-fly. His U.S. presidential candidate character would totally dismantle MAGA.

~~John~~ Stewart

Edit: Sorry I meant his brother, Jon Stewart

Bill Burr or Jon Stewart, either one of them would absolutely crush Trump on a debate stage and people would line up to watch it.

Vermin Supreme, because every American deserves a pony

Taylor Swift. Not that I think she's absurd. I just think she'd have absolutely zero time for Trump's bullshit, and would probably write some very cutting lyrics about it.

Leslie knope

Well, Marshall Mathers in his Slim Shady persona would be interesting. Not sure who I would pair him up with for VP though.

I figure after 4 years of Slim Shady as President, we would either have world peace or the world would be in pieces.

Dwayne Johnson is an incredible trash talker by the same logic and would own his candy ass

A Martha Stewart/Snoop Dogg ticket would be interesting. I kinda want to see Snoop in the debate though so maybe a Snoop Dogg/Martha Stewart ticket.

If you want to guarantee a win though Oprah is the answer. Just to maximize Trump's rage I say we need Oprah/RuPaul 2024.

Diane Morgan

I found a guy on linkedin that has the same name, just slot him in and pretend nothing happened, wouldn't even have to change any of the campaign marketing. Dude looks to be in his 20s and manages a coffee place, definitely more than qualified.

Robert Evans – writer, comedian, conflict journalist, podcaster – Cracked, Bellingcat, Behind the Bastards, did a podcast from Rojava, and reported live from Portland’s George Floyd protests

I was actually thinking about something similar today. We've already had an actor as president, then with Trump, we had a reality-TV star. Social media is the new "TV" for the younger generation, so it's only a matter of time before we have an influencer or a YouTube creator as a candidate, right? Let's see MrBeast go toe-to-toe with Trump.

a masterclass trash talker. And that is really what throws Trump off and throws him into obscene tantrums where his composure is lost and he comes off like a whining loser: when he’s been taken down a peg by someone else. Nothing sticks deeper in his craw.

That's an interesting point, I was actually kind of annoyed that Biden was insulting Trump as I saw it as stooping to his level, but your comment on that does make it seem like a valid strategy.

I don't think he could win, but for a laugh I'd love to see Hunter Biden replace Joe lol convicted felon vs convicted felon!

Go all in on milking generational divide and do like a Taylor Swift / Kendrick Lamar ticket. I definitely think either of them could do a better job at being president than our current batch of options.

The Rock. If you're going to sink your ship at least do it with style.

Okay okay hear me out.

Megatron.

John Browns Body.

I think we would be better off with any rotting corpse over Trump, but old John at least fought for something good once

Linus Torvalds or Theo de Raadt

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. We get the absurdity of a puppet and the entertainment of a puppet throwing insults at Trump.

Paul Rudd.

Andrew Callaghan. Just sit there an ask Trump simple questions with a vibe so chill he self destructs without any outside interference.

Arnold Schwarzenegger.