Ask Lemmy

Well, “world peace” may not be original, but it isn’t bad.

That I had a wallet with exact change every time I opened it. Dinner? My treat, you tip. You need groceries? Give me the list. The lady in front of me at the dentist that can't get more care till her bill is paid? Is cash OK?

Being born a girl.

"For chick pants to have dude pants pockets"

As long as I'm happy in the moment, I wish for "more of this" because I'm usually having a good time and with people I love.

I wish for my bestie's good physical and mental health. Preferably, she'll attain both at once in a way where she feels she earned it for herself.

Magic. And not ledgerdemain or magic that looks like things just kind of happened that sort of way, I'm talking magic missile, fireball, flying through the air blowing shit up, summoning familiars, castles in the sky, all that shit.

Blowjobs

I love yours, and have one almost identical to it. But it's probably not one I would share with say, coworkers or casual friends. I have a "public and plausible" wish in addition to the fantastic and semi-private one. My public and plausible wish is usually that our lotto pool at work finally hits all the numbers. Considering the odds of that happening, it's damned unlikely, but at least it's theoretically possible. So maybe I should call it my "public and barely plausible wish".

It's always been to fly. Every time I blow out birthday candles, every time I fix my necklace chain, every time I blow away a fallen eyelash, every time I've thrown a penny in a fountain (oh how I miss the mall fountain!).

It never fucking works >:(

I used to always wish that things would work out for the best.

I guess it was too vague because that's not how things have been going.

Since I was a kid, I settled on "$100 million." Simple. Enough to get you through life, but not being too greedy. Yet it's still never come true, so I'm beginning to think wishing on stars, candles, wells, etc... might sadly be bullshit.

What would be your "back pocket wish"?

That nobody is guilt tripped into making wishes on their birthday to satisfy social norms.

Check mate atheists.

Health, happiness, and security for my kids.

To be happy.

You shouldn't feel pressured into making a wish.

Just to know that I'll be ok, I have a lot of chronic anxieties about the long picture future

On a personal level, a small house for my kids to live in before I die somewhere quiet. On a global level? Less privileged people would stop being taken advantage of by nefarious sources and systems designed to crush them.

Here's your monkey's paw.

Time goes on, and you overcome a lot of those anxieties with age. You get married, start a great job, buy a house, have a couple kids, and generally start feeling comfortable with life.

Then in a flash you are back in your high school head, knowing that no matter what you do, you'll never get the mix of circumstances just right to do it again, which means at best your kids cease to exist and at worst, you lose everything that gave your life meaning. And you can't share that pain with anyone. And on top of that, you're now mentally a 45-year-old in a teenagers body, and rather than feeling attraction to your peers, they now look like children to you. You're full of confidence, but any attempt to use that confidence feels like taking advantage of a child (even though you are physically the same age).

I think of that, because your wish is a horror story for me. Whenever it's brought up, I think no amount of getting in on the ground floor of k-cups stock or bitcoin, no preventing catastrophes, nothing I could do would make me feel it was worth losing my kids. And worse, making them never exist.

By the way, mine is "I wish for a blowjob." I've got what I need. But I'll always take a blow job (FROM MY WIFE, TO BE CLEAR).

Invulnerability. To age, sickness, death, anything that could physically harm me. I want to live forever.

Or barring that, telekinesis.