Asklemmy

I am in one right now, but just numb. I've given up all hope. The realization that I worked hard during my childhood, only to fall behind as I reached my teen years, only to enjoy doing nothing. I could not afford cram school or study material. The only thing that I was able to do to the best of my ability was to learn English really well, and get into computer stuff. I used to cry alone when I got into a shitty college, and wanted to jump off my hostel. Graduated a third-class university, ended up jobless, and living with my parents. But what makes it worse is the future prospect that I'll end up as a wage-slave, earning a shitty paycheck. I'll never be able to escape from a loveless transactional arranged marriage that will be forced on me. Society will judge me, and force me and my self-loathing, internally-misogynistic future-wife to produce slaves for the shitty economic system. Even if wanted to have kids of my own volition, I'll struggle with paying for their stuff. I'll also probably inherit my family's debt, will have no place to call home, and what next? Slave for the rest of my life. End up as a miserable, angry old man. I'm not the free bird I thought I would be, once I reach adult-hood. I'm just a cog in the machinery.