this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
873 points (99.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25366 readers
2644 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 109 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I like how the watermelons have a whole 10K more likes. Let’s go watermelons!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

66% more likes!

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Every seed is sacred

Every seed is great

If a seed is wasted

God gets quite irate!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

soo... cum in seedless watermelons?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yes. American Pie - Summer Edition. Just as warm, but a little bit wetter.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (5 children)

What's wrong with seedless watermelons? Are GMOs forbidden by Christian law?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

probably same reason why some are anti birth control. kinda playing against gods role by manipulating the natural result.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Should someone tell them why watermelons are so big and delicious in the first place?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Because god put them there as a tasty treat for his most faithful hippopotamuses :)

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They need to learn about bananas.

Also like, 100% of all agriculture and livestock. Fuck. Look at what we did to wolves. If god didn't want us to fuck around with genetics they wouldn't have made them malleable.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Obviously agriculture is a lie. Cows and sheep and donkeys and chickens and dogs always existed exactly as they do now since that's how God made them and they never changed.

Or something.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Well, the universe was create 6000 years ago so obviously domesticated animals have always been as they are. /s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

You know the saying, "it didn't happen if it isn't in writing"?

That must apply to all of prehistory then, right?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

It makes priest horny for castrated choir boys.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Funny thing is they aren't even GMOs, they're hybrids between tetraploid and diploid watermelon cultivars. You could do it yourself in your backyard if you can find tetraploid seed for sale, or make it yourself with colchicine

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I wonder if they are also against pepper mint.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

🎼 Every seed is sacred / every seed is good... 🎶

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Are GMOs forbidden by Christian law?

No, AFAIK they aren't

I think it's just a joke and not a real movement or something

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago

Seeded Catholic altar boys against Catholicism

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I dunno, while I support everyone's right to their own beliefs, some of their past actions and even current doctrine do not sit well with me.

The Catholics aren't much better.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Exactly. How long will watermelons keep silent about the genocide?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The genoseed hasn't been talked about enough.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Tensions between the watermelons and the cavaillons have always been high, but now we're just at a pitting point.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Why can't everybody just rind their own business?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

All the more suspicious that watermelons don't talk about it

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Catholic watermelons against seeds

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I too will be joining the seedless watermelons against Catholics.

Who do they think they are?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Seedy folk, that's for sure

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (7 children)

To be fair seedless watermelons suck

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Now why seedless watermelons suck is an interesting story.

The first intentional creation of a seedless watermelon was done in 1939 in Japan. University breeding programs in the southern U.S. after WWII began using the technology to create the first hybrids. In the early '50's and '60's multiple tetraploids were created by the university programs and released to private companies to produce seed with.

These tetraploid lines were "greys". "Greys" were selected to have a thick hard rind for long distance shipping. They were barely red on the inside and tasted slightly bitter. They all sucked for flavor.

A seedless watermelon hybrid is made by crossing a tetraploid female by a diploid male. The resulting hybrid (triploid) has 3 copies of every chromosome and is sterile.

Fertile stable tetraploids take a long time to create - around 15 generations of you are lucky. Seedless watermelons also took a long time to gain popularity in the market. So nobody put significant money or time into creating more tetraploid inbreds for over 40 years.

From the 1980's when seedless watermelons were introduced until around 2010, everyone used those shitty old tetraploids as 2/3rds of the hybrid. Since 2010 companies have created new tetraploid to use, but a significant portion still use 70 year old shitty ones.

.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Is it bad that I scrolled to make sure it wasn't a shittymorph before I decided to read the rest?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's extremely interesting, thank you for sharing it!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Also a bit of trivia I had to double check.

The seedless watermelon against Catholics image.

The original picture is one I took.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I didn't even know seedless watermelons were a thing, so it saddens me to discover that they are, and that they're bad, since the main reason I don't like watermelons is having to deal with the seeds.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

They are not all bad. In the early 2000's a breeder created a logistical method create tetraploids in 6 years (5 generations every 2 years). He used 3 countries to do it in if I recall correctly.

He integrated some of the small seeded deep red fleshed Chinese germplasm combined with the old flavorful allsweet types to make dramatically improved tetraploids.

Other companies have followed suit and the average quality of the fruit has improved. Some of the newer ones have really excellent flavor.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (3 children)

They do. I had this conversation the other day, and it led to Bill Gates trying to to basically monopolize farming. It was right before a five-hour meeting and so I forgot to research it at all after, but you have just reminded me.

Back on topic though, I can't find seedless watermelons anywhere. I live in Jersey (New), and my local supermarket is and has been seedless for at least a decade. I can't recall the last time I enjoyed watermelon with a seed. My presumption was that they're stopping us from growing them at home. I'm sure it's much more (or less) nuanced than that. I'm an idiot.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Watermelons are not true to seed- a watermelon grown from a collected seed will not necessarily resemble it's parent. But surprise melons are fun! Usually not as sweet as those with carefully controlled genetics though.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's all about profits. Seedless watermelons usually sell better with American consumers.

In order to produce fruit on triploid watermelons there has to be regular seeded (diploid) varieties in the field. Traditionally they would use a large oblong traditional seeded (allsweet types). Mainly because there was a market for them and they looked different than the seedless varieties.

The growers had to dedicate 1/5th of their acres to growing a seeded melons which they could sell at 50% or less than seedless varieties.

That's when seed companies introduced dedicated pollinators (non-harvested). These untilized several different dwarf genes and could be interplanted with seedless varities with no loss of space.

With the exception of the big party markets like the 4th of July, most fields utilize the dedicated pollinators in the U.S. now. For production in Latin America, they export the seedless ones to the U.S. and sell the seeded ones l ones domestically.

Bottom line, today you only occasionally seeded watermelons in grocery stores in the U.S. and Canada.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

That's a thorough explanation, very much appreciated. I'd like to do more than just say thanks but I have nothing to add to the conversation.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

If God doesn't want us fucking with their creations, they're more than welcome to hold a press conference.

Until then, I'll keep assuming they're emotionally crippled howard Hughes style in the Heaven Penthouse drinking their own divine urine and shouting random conspiracies about which Angel is gonna pull a Lucifer next.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

"If that is okay, please give me absolutely no sign."

...

"Thy will be done."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Where's the group for being against Catholics and watermelons?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Seeds Against Watermellons and Catholics?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure there aren't any eunuchs around anymore. Otherwise there would still be castrati.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Well no voluntary eunuchs

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Are they both troll groups?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Nope, seedless is against their gods will.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago
load more comments
view more: next ›