Asklemmy

I was worried that lemmy wouldn't reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you're not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

while you're out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

remember to stay hydrated!! I know you're not trying to pee either but it's important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

In 10 years, people are going to say "I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post"

OP doesn't want his crush knowing that he poops. Simple as.

I came to Lemmy as a substitute for Reddit, and I'm impressed at how little time it took to reach the high-quality posts that Reddit was known for.

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Are you by chance trapped in a submarine near the Titanic?

So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

OP, you misunderstand the "no shitposts on lemmy" guideline, that's not what it means

Taking bets:

• Participating in a competitive event where bathroom breaks are minimal or non-existent, such as a long-distance, multi-day gaming or eSports tournament.
• Attending a religious or spiritual retreat where fasting or avoiding certain bodily functions is part of the practices or rituals.
• Engaging in a survival challenge or a bet where the person has to limit food intake and avoid defecating for a certain period of time.
• Undergoing a specific medical procedure or test that requires limiting food intake and avoiding bowel movements for a few days.
• Participating in a scientific experiment or study where they have to control their diet and bowel movements.
• Partaking in a performance art piece or protest where he's limiting his bodily functions as part of the statement.
• Attending an event (like a music festival or convention) where bathroom facilities are notoriously unclean or inconvenient, and they want to avoid using them as much as possible.
• Embarking on a long journey where bathroom facilities may not be readily available or convenient, such as a cross-country road trip or sailing expedition.
• Participating in a reality TV show or film production where bathroom breaks are limited or inconvenient.
• Engaging in a personal challenge or self-imposed discipline practice related to endurance or minimalism.

I've replied to quite a few people and I'm going to bed now.

I'll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

Wish me luck.

This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

Are you, by any chance in a submarine?

I think water fasting would do you the best. There was this guy in 1965 who fasted for over a year eating nothing but some vitamins prescribed by the doctors and drinking water coffe and tea https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri%27s_fast

He apparently also only pooped every 2 months https://www.diabetes.co.uk/blog/2018/02/story-angus-barbieri-went-382-days-without-eating/

NASA has a paper on how to not poop for days. It's on the Internet. Before space toilets there was only a space bag with finger scissor/scoop holes. It didn't work, poop got everywhere. The paper goes into detail about fecal matter being everywhere after early multi-day missions.

So they figured it out. Their system works -- I've also had my own reasons.

first day on lemmy, and this is the shit i see right off the bat. I found my reddit replacement.

This is one of those threads that’s going go be legendary is it? Like the eating their own foot on early Reddit

This is the kind of post we need around here :)

I suggest you do poop, your plan atm sounds cartoonishly stupid and likely to blow up in your face.

Do keep us posted though!

Your last three posts are a roller coaster in wondering "What's this guy up to?". Thanks for the laughs

This thread is going to haunt me. One day, years from now while lying in bed and slowly drifting off to sleep, I'll suddenly sit bolt upright and exclaim, "Why couldn't that dude poop!?"

OP, there's help available if you have OCD.

Curiosity aside:

Pooping happens when the body needs to eliminate undigested waste. Almost everything that is edible has some amount of indigestible material, but some has far less than others.

The other important factor is the stimulation of bile release. This usually happens in the presence of bitter foods: dark leafy greens, pickles and other fermented foods, ect. Fats are also known to stimulate bile release. Biles primary function actually is to break down fatty acids. Even if youve eaten mostly bio-available nutrients, if your gallbladder gets stimulated you could end up on the toilet anyway.

So if your goal is to avoid pooping for several days, your ideal diet will avoid fibrous and bitter fruits and vegetables, and avoid fatty foods.

If it were me, I would eat lean meats (chicken or venison), possibly dried into jerky, and simple fruits, or juiced vegetables and fruits. The less food you eat generally, the more you'll avoid building up waste in your intestines.

Just a heads-up: if your succeed in your goal and don't poop for several days, your first poop after can possibly be, erm, explosive. Your gallbladder will likely continue accumulating bile during your poop-fast, and the first thing you eat that stimulates it's release may flood your small intestines. So plan your first meal carefully!

God speed.

• I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

Sure sounds like something someone who's going to mail himself somewhere would say.

I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.

Aha! You are joining the circus!!!