Am I expected to pay or be paid the $800?
this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
75 points (87.1% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
26209 readers
3697 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Your choice
You wouldn’t download a cat.
FUCK YOU I WOULD IF I COULD
Yes, I would accept getting paid $800 to pet a cat. I'd take less, but now that you made the offer I'll just take that offer.
Am I receiving the $800 or paying the $800?
I wouldn't pay any amount of money to pet a cat. But I would gladly pet a cat if I was paid any amount of money.
Fuck no, that's way too much.
I'll pay $801 to pet the cat!
I like where this is going. $801.01 to pet the cat.
$801.01 and 1 peso
$801.01, 1 peso, and some bellybutton lint
And we have a winner 🏆, folks!!
This sounds like a trick. Are you going to sell my organs?
My skin is sensitive to fur, but I'll gladly pet a cat if I get paid $800.
Depends wether I'm paying or being paid. Also what type of cat? That could be anywhere from a tame kitten to a fully grown tiger
Not sure I can afford to pay you 800 but I would really like to pet Jim...
Keep the money, I'll just pet Jimmy for free
I can pet my own cat for free
I don't like furry textures, so I would not pay any amount of money to pet the cat. Actually, I'm more likely to pay money to not have to pet the cat. However, I would accept $800 to pet the cat.
I love cats, just, like, not touching me lol.
But they're so fluffy and they smell good
But they're so fluffy
Yeah that's kinda the "problem." Unfortunately my brain doesn't have the tools to deal with those kinds of textures.
I'll modify the parameters to include those hairless sphinx cats, just for you.
How long do I get to pet the cat, and do I need to clean up his poops?
Jim sounds nice. I'd pet him for free, even without the $800
The word 'cat' doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence...
Sure, how often will I get paid? Can I do this from home?
No, I've met Jim he's a total asshole
I accept your offer of giving me $800 to pet this cat named Jim. That should cover my travel expenses. When we doing this?
I have my own family cat and he won't ever leave me alone ever and hates when I leave. His name is guy and he likes to cuddle and purr on me or in my arms now and distrusts my mom so much so that he doesn't even let her hold him. She is the real owner of the cat. 
A lot of men pay $800 - or even more! - just to pet a pussy.
But paying for pussy just ain’t my thang.
I'd pet a cat because cat
No because what if Jay-Z offered me $500,000 to pet him?
No. Seems like a trap.
Is it ugly?
How much to cut it into small pieces and feed it to the hounds?