this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2023
1305 points (98.4% liked)

Programmer Humor

32045 readers
1427 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 130 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Strap 20 sd card with 1TB capacity each. Send the pidgeon to a neighboring city, 2 hours flight time.

Bandwidth: 2.78 GB/s (assuming no wild hawks in the area)

[–] [email protected] 82 points 10 months ago

"Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway."

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

When "packet loss" occurs:

This little maneuver is gonna cost us 51 years

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Not until I use my... dragnet

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You are forgetting the time it takes to copy the data to and from these cards. Data may be transported, but it is not usable until you copy it. Copying 20 TiB is probaply going to take some time

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Fastest SD card has ~300MB/s read speed and ~250MB/s write speed. Assuming you can write to those cards in parallel, that means you'll need an additional one hour to write the data to the SD cards and another one hour to read them back. So 4 hours in total which halves the data rates to 1.39 GB/s.

That's assuming the card can actually sustain ~250MB/s write speed during the full 1TB copy. It probably can if the card is freshly formatted but I haven't actually tested it myself.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

you have the same problem with downloads though. In the end any download rate exceeding your disc write speed doesnt get you there faster.

ofc. you can write as you download, which makes things faster.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

MicroSD cards are better, here. They're 250mg; a pigeon can transport 75g. That's 300 microSD cards, ignoring the weight of the SD card enclosure.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

That's a terrible ping 😂

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 103 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (5 children)

When Baldur's Gate 3 came out our group of friends wanted to start a game together. Since one of our friends, living about a kilometer away, has shitty internet it was faster for me to download the game myself, copy it to a USB stick, have it driven over by another friend, copy it onto the friends PC and verify file integrity than downloading it.

German internet in a nutshell.

So yeah, IPoAC would've it's purpose.

[–] [email protected] 80 points 10 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's a real quote, from the 80s, published in a networking textbook.

It's amusing, but it's always been a serious and occasionally practical observation.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

For render the first picture of a black hole a couple of uear ago, the data transfer was done through hdds transported by a plane, than a data transfer through Internet, because the former was so much faster.

https://www.extremetech.com/extreme/289423-it-took-half-a-ton-of-hard-drives-to-store-eht-black-hole-image-data

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

German internet in a nutshell.

At least you got better healthcare.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

IPoAC is a joke about printing actual IP packets, sending them by pigeon, then scanning them.

You do the whole usual TCP ACK/SYN thing, but with pigeons.

It's not the same as 'sneakernet, but strapping microsd cards to a pigeon'. It's way, way sillier.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is it a German reaction to think: Hey, 50MBit is not that bad?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Seeing it written as MBit/s feels so wrong to me, I read it as MB/s at first then I realized it's Mb/s.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm assuming English isn't your first language, but "IPoAC would've it's purpose" is grammatically awkward. "Would've" doesn't really work for possession. Instead you can use "would have," but people would typically say "IPoAC has it's purpose"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for the clarification. You're right, English isn't my first language.

I'm a bit confused by your sentence:

""Would've" me doesn't really work fur possession. Instead you can use "would have""

That's the same thing, isn't it? My idea with using "would've" was that IPoAC would have it's purpose, if it was a thing. I'm missing the descriptive word in either language right now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

The word "have" is used in two different ways. One way is to own or hold something, so if I'm holding a pencil, I have it. But another way is as a way so signal different tenses (as in grammatical tense) so you can say "I shouldn't have done it" or "they have tried it before." The contraction "'ve" is only used for tense, but not to own something. So, the phrase "they've it" is grammatically incorrect.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 10 months ago

But also super high throughput.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago (3 children)

The protocol is highly susceptible to DOS attacks by means of BB guns, slingshots or, for more sophisticated hackers, trained hawks.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

"Unintentional encapsulation in hawks has been known to occur, with decapsulation being messy and the packets mangled."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

more sophisticated hawkers, if you will

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Some guys actually managed to do a ping using this standard. I saw pictures and all.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago

Ahh, the good old RFCs dated April, 1st. This one is number 1149 ( A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers), and got later updated in RFC 2549 (IP over Avian Carriers with Quality of Service).

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"an example of packet loss" 🤣

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Yes, we also saw the same post you did.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago

Please note that IPoAC may suffer fatal device failure when delivering HTTP 418 error codes due to packet overheating.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Old news, it's been superseded by RFC6214.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So Alfred Hitchcock predicted DDOS attacks decades before they were a thing?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You need to set a pretty damn high timeout time for this to work.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

That said, the bandwidth of strapping microSD cards to carrier pigeons is actually pretty high.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

I only torrent over IPoAC.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Imagine playing a shooter over a network using this protocol.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Of course there is an xkcd (or rather what if on it)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Routing information protocol, little pigeon, routing information protocol.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My neighbor bought a bird feeder, how do I defend against MitM?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Buy better seed and a bird bath.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Reminds be of the conversations about transferring hard drives using the public transport system in my city. Good bandwidth, terrible latency. Then everyone got faster internet and stopped pirating

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

"Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway." – Andrew Tanenbaum

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Government drone birds can handle surprisingly large amounts of data.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

So it's obviously not a sneakernet. Is it a wingnet?

load more comments
view more: next ›