this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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There was a lot of build up before, depression got bad. Honestly can't go through absolutely everything that was going on. The final straw was locking myself out of my house and car in a town where everyone I knew was about 100 miles away, and I had a box cutter on me. I had the medical knowledge of how to cut to make sure it'd work. However I knew my dad, a paramedic who would walk away from horrible fatalities without a reaction was deeply bothered when a kid committed suicide, and I am an only child. Called the police on myself, took me to the hospital where the stress literally made it where any light whatsoever was a painful headache. Still comes back on high stress times.
Dad made me promise I wouldn't take my life. The depression hasn't left, it's not as desperately bad as it was then but it's still there. But been alive for about 15 years since.