this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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You're not the first one saying a person should arrive late. Why is this a thing? Is it just a cultural norm in the West? Or is it a thing everywhere?
Not late late, just late enough that the host has had time to make sure everything is in order, or just to not be the first guest to show up.
Usually a party lasts at least a few hours, so showing up 30 minutes after the start of the party isn't "being late," it's just showing up to a party in progress. Unless it's a specifically scheduled "arrive at 8pm" kind of affair, in which case the host would mention it and you'd be expected to be there at that time.
I’d add it also depends on your familiarity with the host. Most hosts don’t appreciate if the first guest is a friend of a friend or distant coworker that they feel obliged to entertain while still busy with final preparations. Whereas if you’re a good friend, they can (often) feel more comfortable saying yeah make yourself at home I’ve got last minute things to do.
Because arriving at a party when there's not many people around can be awkward especially if you aren't already friends with the host. So you wait for more people to arrive first.
I imagine it’s an even looser norm in places outside the west, considering the west tends to view time/punctuality as more “concrete” than some others. For some of my friends born outside the west, if we tell them the actual start time of an event we shouldn’t expect them any sooner than an hour after that lol.
It's a really weird thing and something you should carefully consider based on the type of party. The 15 minutes late advice only really applies to getting drunk parties in college.
Yeah if this party is in the Situation Room with the President, you should show up a little early.
Nothing’s quite so awkward as showing up already drunk, dressed wrong, and 25 minutes late to a special briefing about the volcano erupting in Cleveland.