Asklemmy

Was bored one day and decided to watch Bojack Horseman since it had that guy from Arrested Development in it. It was weird, but funny, so I kept watching.

After a while, I started to recognize a lot of myself and things similar to my life, and since I was seeing someone else do this stuff, I knew that it wasn't healthy or necessarily supposed to be funny if it were a real person.

It helped me to start understanding that all my life, I've had horrible depression that lead me to really sabotage myself and almost every relationship I've ever had with anyone.

I ended up talking to my doctor, and it turned out to be something that was very easy to fix, and as soon as I got on the proper medicine, I almost immediately started experiencing life in a new way.

It helped me come to better terms with a lot of my childhood, and I no longer felt a crushing weight every day and could deal with day to day events in a healthy way.

I'm still a damaged person who doesn't quite understand a lot of things I think "normal" people understand, but I'm able to identify it and talk about it instead of it making me angry and frustrated.

I'm in an overall significantly better place now. I understand myself a good bit more, and I've come a long way in being a better person. I still carry a lot of emotional weight not that I realize all the bad things I've done to so many people, and I frequently feel the loss of those relationships, but it's more a reminder of how far I've come instead of something actively hurting me still after all these years.

I really liked the show, and there's a lot of fun things in it, but it's hard for me to watch now, as it reminds me too much of old me. I do really love Paul F Tomkins though and listen to him on Threedom and I just saw him on the Comedy Bang Bang tour.

I never expected a talking horse to turn my life around when nothing else did, but I won't complain.