Asklemmy

I'm an astoundingly selfish person, and unapologetic about it. Makes for having relationships, romantic or otherwise, pretty much impossible.

I'm middle aged, dated, had relationships in the past, etc., and honestly just don't have the drive to make relationships work. I do the bare minimum to keep my professional relationships in tact, which honestly is exhausting enough, and otherwise just keep to myself. It's so much easier than when I was trying so hard to pretend I was interested in where another person was coming from or what they were going through. Now at least that effort ends after I clock out for the day, and there's less socializing where I work, so there's less of those kinds of social expectations overall.

I work from home and live on a sailboat, sailing up and down the west coast (south in Winter, north in Summer). Not exactly a lot of opportunities to develop or maintain social connections other than on Discord/Steam. How would I even meet anyone during the week or so I stay in a given town before shipping out? And who wants to date a guy who's only in town for a week or two per year?

The only way I could maintain a relationship would be an LTR where she lived onboard with me, but I don't see how I could every date someone to establish that LTR in the first place. Kind of a chicken and egg situation.

I may be one of the few guys in the 6, 6, 6 club who's been single for years with no hope of finding a woman. And I just don't think the changes I'd have to make to my lifestyle to make that easier would be worth it. So... I guess I'll just die alone?

Face. After that maybe personality

Time commitment. Not being physically attracted to anyone in my geographic area. (Long distance)

Actually finding people i guess? I meet tons of people with my shared interests but none I want to date. I am demi so maybe that's part of it

I (w4w) don't date any more, but my experience on dating apps was mostly:

• Women with the personality of a manilla folder
• Couples seeking unicorns
• Fully bearded cishet men posing as women

I'm quite social and comfortable talking to people, but struggled to find anyone that interested me. Though I'm in a relationship now :)

Getting past the mean mugging appraisal stare as i approach her

I'm what's called demisexual. Essentially I am mostly aroace unless I have a certain kind of emotional bond. That can happen pretty quickly, but it can also take years depending on the circumstances.

Unfortunately that doesn't work well in today's society that's focused on instant gratification.

Like, if you aren't all over someone within x hours somehow that's considered to be a rejection. And if you ever show any interest in getting to know someone they immediately assume you want to bang them that evening.

Please!

I don't consider them hurdles any more. After a while you adjust to who you are. That means less dates than many people around me, for good or for bad.

Not really dating per se but socialization in general. I never know what to say in a conversation, my mind is just not good at that. And then I spend too long thinking of something to say and people lose interest.

I just don't think people like me for me and want to be with me because there's something of me and about me that they want to be around with. I can find something to be attracted to with almost anyone, but for some reason, it's the opposite with me.

I struggle to take the relationship from "dating to get to know each other" to "dating with sexual interest". I hate taking the first step and I'm too awkward to make a move or just straight up talk about it. Trying to work on that in therapy currently.